With TV and media showing you all
sorts of different things, it is sometimes hard to decide where to draw lines,
especially in the area of clothing. Here are a few simple things to keep in
mind when you open your closet.
1)
Modesty is respecting yourself and the people
around you through your fashion choices. When we exercise modesty, we help
other people feel comfortable. Have you ever been in a situation when you were
seeing a little too much of something? I have. For the whole conversation I
felt embarrassed for myself and the person I was supposed to be talking to. Unfortunately
I was so distracted I don’t remember much of what was said. Some people who
dress inappropriately you are using their bodies to get attention or to fit in.
Is this the kind of attention we really want?
2)
If you don't feel comfortable wearing
something, don't. Once I wore a shirt that I thought was too low. I spent
all day trying to pull it up and didn't enjoy myself at all. Wear stuff you’re
comfortable with.
3)
What if it seems everyone else it wearing
styles you think lack modesty? That's a tricky one. If I feel like I am the
only one dressing modestly, I try to get some perspective. Is everyone really wearing something
inappropriate? You might be surprised how many unobtrusive people are dressed
modestly. We tend to notice the inappropriate things because they stick out. If
you break the trend you might start a whole new fashion. Finally, I've noticed
that my good friends don't mind if what I wear isn't “vogue.” If your friends
need you to wear certain things to be your friends, you might need to consider
what your friendship is based upon. Here is another idea, try getting to know
some of the less dominant people without others influence. Invite someone you
don't know too well over to your house and get to know their character, not
their clothing. You might be surprised at what you discover.
4)
Dress for the occasion. Certain
occasions (such as a wedding) require more than jeans and a t-shirt, even if
they are completely modest. When choosing what you’re going to wear think of
what you will be doing. Will you be standing a lot? If so, uncomfortable shoes
might not work. If you’re sitting on a stage do you really want the audience
looking up your skirt? Covering those knocking knees might put everyone more at
ease.
You
may have noticed that I didn't give you any solid rules for clothing such as no
skinny jeans or skirts to your knees. The crazy thing about fashion is that the
“rules” vary from culture to culture. There are many guidelines that are helpful, but I think that if you understand
why you dress the way you do and how it affects you and others, you will make
wise choices on what to wear.
"When we exercise modesty we help other people feel comfortable."
ReplyDeleteI've read many articles on modesty and I've never encountered an author who made this comment. It is a strikingly honest and real comment on modesty and thinking of others - - precisely because we've all been there! Good insight, NotKate.
When others feel comfortable around you, you are all free to enjoy each other's stories, jokes, thoughts, and perspectives. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation when distracted by your own or someone else's clothing (or lack-there-of). Thanks for sharing your thoughts without 'rules.'
ReplyDeleteSimple but applicable! It's true that we need a lot of wisdom and perspective depending on the situations and culture we are in.
ReplyDeleteI have read a lot about modesty, but NotKate did a great job concisely presenting a few arguments for why modesty is important. I especially liked the fact that she acknowledged that culture vary on their standards for modesty.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your thoughts on this topic and emphasis on evaluating "why" we dress a certain way. I think that "rules" actually distract us from the true issue(s) at hand. We get hung up on what we "can" or "can't" wear rather than dressing in a way that shows respect for self and others.
ReplyDeleteAs a mother of daughters, it is so refreshing to read such a well thought through and articulate case for modesty written by a teenage girl. I wish your view represented the majority of teens' views on the issue, but the fact that it is a minority view makes it all the more praiseworthy. It is not easy to stand against the tide of popular culture. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteI have often felt like I'm standing alone in the modesty camp. But you're right in saying not "everyone" is immodest and they often seem to draw our attention more easily. I also appreciate that you didn't include any "rules" because I think the hardest thing about modesty is striking the balance between being modest and still wearing "cute" things. But both modesty and "cuteness" (fashion in general) are relative based on the eyes of the beholder. My best friend is also very modest but we don't have the same taste at all. I appreciate that we can both be covered but with completely different styles. Thanks for the thought-provoking read!-Kimber
ReplyDelete"Modesty is respecting yourself and the people around you through your fashion choices. When we exercise modesty, we help other people feel comfortable." Excellent point!
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts! I totally agree, especially with the "don't wear anything you don't feel comfortable in" point...Been there done that and it's not fun;)
ReplyDeleteYour article really goes to the heart of the issue "why we should be modest" not how we should or shouldn't dress I appreciate that!!!
over all marvelous article