Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Apologies


A broken window, or a poor choice of words. These are just one of many ways to hurt people unintentionally.
We should apologize and try to make amends for mistakes. But do we? Not always.

The biggest reason we don't is because we don't always know quite how. It could even be because we just don't care. But it's always the right thing to do.
An apology can change the outcome of a friendship, punishment, and even your reputation. Apologies do get hard depending on what you're apologizing for. The main things to remember about apologies is take some time to word everything how you want it to come across. Apologies are very easy to take the wrong way or for people to think you're doing it for the wrong reasons. So in my opinion, taking your time is definitely a good idea.

Always remember is actually put your heart into it. Even if it's hard, try and mean what you say. It means a lot to a person and shows who you are when you put your heart into an apology. People like knowing that you are actually sorry for what you did.

So next time you hurt someone's feelings or accidentally break something, man up (or woman up) and apologize for your mistake. Make sure it's sincere, and you may just find the outcome better than you expected.

Friday, March 14, 2014

I'll Get It Done... Eventually.

Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
I think we've all been there at some point. There's something to be done, but we don't want to do it. Or at least, not right now. So we don't do it, telling ourselves we'll "get it done later."
I've procrastinated a lot in the past. In every area from school and homework, to chores around the house. Here's what I've learned about procrastination.


Putting off work for later only delays the inevitable, plus some more.
Being lazy may seem beneficial at the time, but in the end we do the same amount of work we'd have to do before; but when we delay it, there are some huge side effects.
- Cutting it close to, or missing deadlines,
- Stressing over having to cram everything in a few hours,
- Poor results from a lack of time spent on it,
- When there are no deadlines, work just keeps building up until it's seemingly impossible to solve.
And don't forget the constant guilt accompanied with not getting things done.
But what can we do to prevent this chain of laziness?


Here are just a few tips to help stop procrastination.

1) Create a to-do list.
It actually helps. Write down the things you know that you need to do, and check them off as you complete them. It can be as simple or complex as you want it to be. 
To-do lists help you keep on track, while encouraging you by showing the things you've accomplished so far. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

2) Remove distractions.
Do you have a habit of texting instead of working? What about playing Xbox? Watching Netflix?
I find that physically removing those items from your view and make them not available to use often helped me focus and prevented me from using them before work was done. Nobody knows yourself better than you do. Find out what causes you to get distracted, and either remove it from you, or remove you from it.

3) Dedicate time.
One of the main causes of my procrastination, was me allowing myself to do other things. 
Another great way to avoid procrastination is dedicate some time (say, an hour) to doing only the intended task, no matter how boring it is. And whenever you see something distracting, pay no attention to it at all.

4) Don't wait for perfection, just do it.
Don't wait for the perfect moment; it'll never come, and we'll never get the work done.
Sometimes I convinced myself that there was some "opportune time" to get this work done, and whenever it wasn't that time, I shouldn't work on it.
The best way to stop this? Don't wait. Do it immediately. Do you have stuff that should be completed? Stop what you're doing, and go finish it!


Stopping procrastination will actually save you time.
Sometimes, work is objectively unavoidable. You're going to have to spend at least one hour working on something, so you may as well get it out of the way, before it becomes one and a half hours, and then two hours.
In the end, how much time would you want to spend doing the exact same task: one hour, or two? The answer is simple. Get it done, and get it out of the way. You can actually save yourself time by getting it done now. And then that hour you would've spent working, can now be spent doing whatever you want to, with a mind clear of guilt. The decision is yours.

Thomas Edision once said "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." 

Do you have something that needs to be done? What're you waiting for? Go and get it done. There's nothing stopping you besides yourself.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

It's Over Rated

In our world today, appearance is everything, and the media decides what is beautiful. Sometimes when we don't look like the people on T.V. and in the magazines we feel bad, and we feel insecure. 
Everyone has that thing that they feel insecure about, usually it's the thing that makes you different. Whether it's big eyes, a gap in your teeth, or freckles. But I'm here to tell you these little quirks are a good thing.

Being different, or unique, is what sets you apart. 
Imagine how boring the world would be if everyone was the same; We have variety in people for a reason! "Perfection" in appearance is overrated and boring.
Don't let anyone get down on you for being different. I think that everyone likes to feel special, and you are very special. You beat many odds if you turned out having red hair, or dimples. That one little trait that people pick on you for, is something that you should be proud of. Because it's what makes you different. 

- Are you left handed? If you are, then you are one of only 10% of people in this world. 

- Only 8% of people have blue eyes. 

- If your hair swirls counter-clockwise, you are one of 6%. 

- Look at your finger print; do you have loops, whirls, or arches? Only 5% of people in the world have arches, and 30% have whirls. 

- Ever heard of the Simian Crease? It's the line that goes all the way across your palm, it affects only 1 in 50.

- 36% of people have detached earlobes, while 64% have attached.  

- Only 2% of the adults are naturally blonde; and redheads are even more rare, only 1-2% of the population of the world has red hair. Only 11% percent of people have naturally curly hair (including me). 1/5 of people have dimples. 

- Did you know there is only a 7.5% chance that you were born in February? 

- If you are a girl and you are 5'10, be proud; there is less than a 3% chance of that. And less than a 1% chance for you as a girl to be above 5'11. If you are a dude, there is less than a 5% chance for you to be above 6'1.

The point of all those statistics is to show you that the odds of you being you are so small, that it will only ever happen once. There is only one you in this world, and you were born to do great things. Life is too short to waste it worrying about what people say about you. 

So next time you are staring in the mirror feeling insecure, or listening to someone laugh at you for you appearance, just remember that you are special, your looks are only a fraction of who you are. Don't disguise yourself to "fit in". Perfection is overrated, It's way better to be you.The world doesn't need a repeat of that girl in the magazine or the actor on T.V., the world needs you! So hold your head up high, embrace your uniqueness, and go out into this world and do what only you can. :)

~ Akila

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Saying Thank You

Saying Thank You
 
Last year my family took the gratitude challenge. Everyday we wrote down 25 things that we were thankful for. Forty days later we had come up with over a thousand things we were thankful for. 

Did you know studies show that people who are in the practice of being thankful are:

  1. 25% happier
  2. get an extra half hour of sleep each night
  3. exercise 33% more
  4. have less stress
  5. have stronger relationships


When we took the gratitude challenge no one in my family knew about these benefits. It wasn't until my sister did a school project about gratitude, that we found out. Looking back, I realize that I was really happy during our 40 days of gratitude. Here are some ideas for showing gratitude:

  1. Write a thank you
  2. Jot a few things down in a gratitude journal before hitting the hay or
  3. Go over things you're thankful for in your head before bed
  4. Thank each member of your family for a chore they do (for example, “thanks for taking out the trash,” or “this casserole is delicious, thanks for all your hard work”)
  5. Go the extra mile to show your appreciation for someone on their birthday or special holidays like Mothers' Day
  6. Put gratitude reminders around where you will see them
  7. Try to stop the complaining (This is my weakness. The glass is usually half empty when I'm around.) and in its place talk positively.
  8. Start a family list of things your grateful for. Make lists at dinner and put them around your house. When guests come over, have them join. One time my mom was interrogating a friend for things he was thankful for and he rattled of in a voice like a robot “friends, family, food, and fellowship.” My mom told him that was pathetic and could he be a little more specific. He then blurted out “gun rights!” If you searched through our 40 pages of thank you's, you will find “gun rights” penciled in somewhere.


How do you show gratitude?

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Friends and Peer Pressure

                        We have all experienced peer pressure at some point in our teen lives.


              It is a BIG problem for some of us. Friends are one of the main influences when it comes to you making a decision. Some of those friends may be a good influence on your decision. Some may be bad ones. Listen, most of the time, going with the crowd can be a big prob. when you make a decision, make one that is not foolish or one that you will regret. If you make a decision off of what other people say, you might look back on it and feel embarrassed. it may have hurt someone also. It's hard not to go with the crowd. But if you do what's right, you'll stand out to the rest. Believe me! I have been In that situation and have made stupid decisions because I followed the crowd. I was kind of embarrassed. But I look back on it and use it as a lesson. You just have to stand strong and push through it.


              Be sure that you have the right friends that you hang out with and influence you. Friends that you have may not be actual friends. Maybe they are just there to gain their own social status. If you have friends like this, you have to be very careful about how much you spend time with them. I have had a few of those people in the past that have gossiped about me or just said they knew me but they really just didn't care. Some of them have greatly influenced me. It dramatically changed my attitude. Again, be careful about what friends you choose or if they really are friends at all.


Are your friends a positive or a negative influence?




Thanks for reading!


~ Randy

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Driving Responsibly

Have you ever been in a vehicle with the driver going a little too fast and it feels very freaky?  Not too far from our house there was a two car accident killing 3 people.  A teenager got off to the right side of the road.  She over corrected swinging her vehicle into the middle of the road going left of center hitting head on into a car with a family of four.  The accident killed the father, the two year old son and the teenager that was driving the other vehicle.  Driving is a big responsibility and needs to be taken seriously.  Since I am planning on getting my license soon, it really makes me think about my responsibility as a driver.


We live on a country road and like to take bike rides.  One day after school we were outside.  Three cars pulled up in front of our house.  One pulled down into the ditch, got out of his vehicle and waited while the other two lined up to race.  As one teen waved at them to go, the racers took off at a high speed side by side down the road.  What could have happened if my younger siblings were out riding their bikes that day?  We need to understand that our choices may have life-long consequences.  It would be awful living with the fact that I had killed or injured because of my carelessness 
Driving is a very serious thing. Even if you are driving something like an ATV, a tractor, a RTV, a dirt bike, and even a motorcycles it’s easy to have a little fun.  My dad is constantly reminding me to slow down.  The loss of these three lives near our home has made me ponder the responsibility of driving.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Tough Choices


The life of a teenager isn’t easy. Between high school drama and “nagging” parents, it can get pretty crazy. That’s why it’s so beneficial to take a step back and enjoy the time you have by making good choices. Instead of fighting with your friends about stupid things that won’t even matter after graduation, or getting into bad stuff (like drugs,) think about what will help your future. Now don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t sit at home worrying about the future. But you should make wise choices for it.

Here are a few things to consider while making tough decisions:
Is it helpful?

Yeah, some people may argue drugs won’t hurt you (don’t believe them) but will they help you? No, in the beginning they may seem to mask the pain but trust me they’ll make you nuts and ruin your life. That is the same with many other things, such as cheating in school, relationships where the person isn’t treating you right, and procrastinating. All may seem harmless in the beginning but they are never helpful.
Would my parents approve?

Ask yourself this, or just ask them. Not all decisions need guidance, like ordering a pizza for yourself. But parents have been teens before, and know a lot more than you! Parents tend to appreciate this and seeing how mature you can be might surprise them.
Does this choice affect others?
Bad choices can often radiate to other people. We’ve all been in a situation where someone got hurt or broke something while doing something sweet, and now no one is allowed to do it. Don’t be the person who ruins it for others. Choices can also affect others by directly harming them physically or emotionally. It’s probably best if you avoid doing that too.
Making good choices may not always be fun right off the bat, but they’ll help you eventually. Let us know if these help you or if you have anything that always seems to help.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Media Affects your Attitude

It's hard to live without media in our homes. We listen to music while we do chores, after that we watch TV or hop on our Xbox. We talk with friends via email, texting, and cell phone. all of these require electronic devices. These things are good and a privilege, but they also can become bad things.
A few examples are:

- The Internet.
The Internet is easy to access and is a helpful tool, but your mind may wander. you may end up were your parents might not want you to be, or see things that are not for the eyes of teens.

- The music we listen to.
Do you listen to up-beat music? This could affect your attitude towards your friends or your family. It may make you angry just because the music is loud, fast, or violent. I love to listen to country music. I listen to it when I do my chores, it helps me sleep, I listen to it when I do certain subjects in school(I'm home schooled.) As you can see, it involved in most of the things I do during the day. Country music can also be dangerous. You may listen to some "love" songs and become addicted and desire to have a girlfriend of boyfriend. Or worse.

- TV.
Televison is very entertaining and an easy way to kill time. There may be some shows or movies on that are not "clean" vocally, visually, and physically. Like the internet, you may see things that you should never have seen. you have to be careful.

-Video games.
Violence seen in video game may change your attitude towards people. First person shooters are one of the main games played in America. War violence is not the best thing to do much of. Just like like TV, seeing thing that are not healthy or good to see.

Please understand that I am not saying that you should stop using the internet or listening to music or playing video games. What I'm saying is that you should pay close attention to your attitude and see if what you're doing is affecting it. Just be careful about how you use these privileges.

Do you find any of the things you do on a daily basis affect your mood? Tell us about it in the comments below.
~ Randy

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

When I Was A Kid......

For our blog post today, we decided to do something a little different than usual. Instead of having some wonderful wisdom or insight about teen issues, we decided that, for today at least, we'd just name off some crazy stories.

But the twist? They're all from our parents. (These are anonymous to protect the not-so-innocent)

In college, my mom shot candy bracelets at people studying in the library. - A

My dad was point guard on his high school basketball team, and they won the state championship. - A

My mom used to volunteer for the vice division of her local police department, and helped undercover officers bust liquor stores for selling to minors. -A

My dad's first car was a a 1969 Mach 1 Mustang, that he got for his 18th birthday. He traded it for a pick-up a year later. -A

My mom once won a best legs contest at a bar... when she was 16. -A

My dad once mooned a whole city block, and got away with it. -A

My mom lived around the corner from Chuck Norris's first martial arts school. She also met William Shatner at a polo match and David Hasslehoff at the beach. -A

My dad set a tractor on fire by accident once. -A

My mom went to a Catholic high school... and survived. -A

My dad and his friends once replaced Mt. Dew with cow urine to stop a bully who stole their Mt. Dews... it worked -A

So yeah, ask your parents about their crazy days, you never know what they might have done.








Sunday, February 23, 2014

Got Style? (For the dudes.)


You've all seen it in the movies, the magazines, or maybe just on your brother! Men can be just a stylish as women.
Men can be stylish too
We all have our dress preferences. I'm one of those guys that asks for clothes for my birthday, shoes for Christmas, and goes to Goodwill for good deals. Weird, huh? Maybe you're one of those guys that grabs a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and just doesn't care. Maybe you are well-built and wear just athletic apparel. If you're looking for a few different Ideas to shake things up a bit, you should take a look at a few of these tips.

1. Shoes
If you haven't noticed, Converse are pretty popular and have been for a long time. They are really cool but the disadvantage to those are that they are like walking on slab of wood! For Christmas I got a pair of Merrels flat bottoms. They have an air cushion so they are super comfy.

2. Shirts
In the winter, I LOVE to wear sweaters and flannels. Quarter zip sweaters are amazingly fashionable with my Merrels and a pair of jeans. pull the zipper up to about were the base of the neck starts. I always wear my flannels tucked into my jeans with a nice leather belt. American Eagle is a great place to get flannels and sweaters. With long-sleeve shirt, I always roll or pull the sleeves up the fore-arm just below the elbow. doing this make almost any long-sleeve shirt so much cooler.
Summer. In summer there is really no other things to wear except a t-shirt or rolled up long-sleeve shirt.

3. Pants 
During the winter there are not many kinds of pants to wear. most of the time I wear low boot cut jeans. I also wear flannel-lined brown jeans. Those make your lower body feel like its summer already! For summer, cargo shorts look great with a t-shirt or a long-sleeve. Since it's summer, sports apparel is great looking and is quick to match and put on.


I hope that this helped.
Let me know if you want to hear more. Because I can go on and on!

~ Randy    

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Standing Out

Every teen, everywhere, has once felt like they were on the outside. Whether it was being the only one doing something, or being the cursed third-wheel. Well, here's my perception on standing out.

Standing out is not always a bad thing. Remember, everyone that became great in life stood out. Beethoven was deaf all his life, and now he is considered one of the best composers in history. Napoleon was the shortest kid in his school, but he grew up to lead a nation to conquer most of the known world of that time period. Thomas Edison burned down his father's barn in an experiment when he was a kid. Amelia Earhart was the first woman to fly over the Atlantic. All of these people stood out and that's how they became great. Because no one remembers the people who just fit in.

So you may be thinking, "But John, I don't know how to stand out. I don't know how to become OK with standing out." Here're a few tips to get you started:



1. Start Small
Don't start with burning your dad's barn down. In fact, don't do that. Ever. Start with something like, not doing something that other people do, like drugs.



2. Have A Goal

In the earlier examples, they all had goals whether to be the best or to make something people had never seen before. So set goals for yourself and strive to achieve them. This step in itself will help you to stand out for sure!

3.  Don't Compromise
People don't like other people standing out so expect some peer pressure. But don't give up because those that strive for greatness and don't quit are those that change the world.


4. Stay True To Yourself
If you stay true to yourself than you too can be considered great. Many want to blend in and hide, or change others into something lesser, but stay true and strive for greatness and you'll see how far you've come.

So it turns out, it's OK to be abnormal, even though that's impossible. Because every one is abnormal so to be abnormal is to be normal and to be normal is to be abnormal. There's some deep wisdom in there but I'm too tired to find it, so peace out!

-John Carter

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Saying Goodbye



Goodbyes are hard. And what's even worse is missing someone after they're gone. We grow attached to people, we enjoy their company, and they can make a huge impact on our lives. Whether it's a pet you had to put down, or a friend who is moving away, missing someone can be really hard to deal with.
  In the past year I have had to say goodbye to a lot of good friends, and I struggled a lot with it. I'm ok now, but it took me a while before I was. I learned a few things, and here is what I can say to help you if you are missing someone.

#1 Be thankful.
  After saying goodbye to my friends, every time I thought about our adventures together I would get really sad and depressed, often times I would start to cry. But I couldn't help but to think about them because we shared so many good memories together, and thats something to be thankful for. Even though I would get sad when I recalled a memory or look at a photograph, I would still do it; Because even though they weren't with me anymore, I was thankful that they were at one point. I would much rather have had the time with them, no matter how short, than to never have had it at all. So instead of wishing back your time, be thankful that it ever happened in the first place.  

#2 Let go, but don't forget.
  Letting go was a big issue for me. I've always been one to dwell on the past, so I would always find myself wishing that I could rewind time and replay a certain part of my life again. But the thing is, we can't. The past is in the past, you can't change it, and you can't go back. Your life is still going on, and things are happening, so it's important to focus on the future instead. Find something that you are looking forward that is coming up and focus on that, and be thankful for the friends that you still do have in your life. But even though you are moving on, that doesn't mean that it's not ok to look back; That's what memories are for. But there is a time and a place for that, just make sure that the past isn't the only thing you think about.

#3 It takes time.
  This is probably the most important thing that I could say. It's going to take time before you can start smiling instead of crying, but that is ok. You're probably not going to get over it in a week, or even a month. You've heard it said that time heals all wounds, and it's true. It's ok if it takes a while. So just give it some time. 

In my experience these things have helped me, and I hope they can help you too! Let me know what you think or if you have any advice about something that has helped you when you were missing someone.

Thanks for reading!

~ Akila

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Is It Really Worth The Worry?




One of the big questions running through my mind constantly right now is:
“What am I going to do with my life?”

I find myself worrying any time I see a college brochure, and biting my nails
every time I get I asked what I want to major in. If you feel this way, don’t
worry: I’m in the same boat as you.

 As much as the term ‘YOLO’ (You Only Live Once) irritates me, it does have some truth to it. Life isn’t suppose to be spent worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. That doesn’t mean that we should just stroll through life carelessly, but it does mean we
shouldn’t be buried neck deep in fears about the future.

Now the next question is, “How do I stop worrying about the future?”
 I’m going to try my best to answer this question, but I honestly don’t have it completed figured out either. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:


#1 Delay the worrying.
 This may sound really stupid, but if you force yourself to wait by saying “Let me worry about this a month from now, because it isn’t going to happen for a while.” It’s easier to focus on living in the moment right now.

#2 Keep things in perspective.
 Take a look at some of your fears and ask yourself “How big of an effect does that really have on my life?” Try to look at things through different eyes and see if it is really worth your time to worry about.

#3 Focus on the stuff you do know.
 This is a tough one, because we often become so wrapped up in what we don’t know, we forget what we do. Try to think about a time in your life when you worried about something for days, months, maybe even years, but when I came it turned out to be not that bad. Remember that feeling of being completely wrong in your worrying and regretting spending so much time fearing this thing that turned out to be not that bad.


One of my main goals in life is to be able to be laying on my death bed and have no regrets; To be able to say I accomplished everything I wanted to. Maybe you have the same wish. I wrote this article to help you get a step closer to being able to say that. Let me know any comments or feedback you have! I would love to hear from you!


Thanks for listening,

Em&Em

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Siblings: The struggle is real


Having siblings is like a never ending battle of who's better, everyone who has a sibling instantaneously understands what I mean. If you don’t have a sibling, consider yourself lucky, because having siblings completely sucks (especially when you are the opposite gender of all of them). As stated in my bio, I have three sisters Helen, Bethany, and Annabell. When I was younger, I would argue with one of them only to be tidal waved by the onslaught of counter-arguments made by sisters five to seven years older than me, or at least that’s what it felt like. I’m sure their side of the story is more than a little different.

                However, when I least expected it, one of my sisters surprised me. She made me miss her. She got married and left. Constantly, I found myself going to her room about to ask her to help me with something, just to find her gone. Now don’t get me wrong the awesomeness of moving the Xbox to my room was just that, awesome. However, now I rarely see my sister. So the next time you are complaining about your sibling, just think. In a few years, they may not be living with you. So enjoy them while they last.

-John Carter

Friday, February 14, 2014

Practice Makes Perfect


With the Olympics in full swing with its great and next to perfect performances, it’s easy to feel unimportant or unskilled. I’m sure we’ve all tried to do something really cool and awesome but then failed miserably and looked stupid in front of all our friends. Believe it or not, there is a way around this! 

You could alway just not do it, but that’s not always a good idea. Afterwards you usually have a sense of failure and regret.  So a better alternative would definitely be to practice what you want to be better at.  For example, sports, school, work, etc.. Practice takes hard work and determination but it all pays off in the end.

A great way to practice is to just take a few minutes or even an hour out of your day to work on whatever it is you’re wanting to succeed in.  A huge thing that helps when practicing anything, is motivation. Without motivation it makes wanting to practice a lot harder. Those that can help with motivating you is family and friends. Reaching out to someone who is better than you at the activity that is willing to help practice encourage you will help more than you'd ever think it could. 
So next time you see an opportunity to improve, don't just tell yourself you can't do it. It is better to have tried and failed, than to never have tried at all.

What are some of the things you would like to get better at in the future? Let us know.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Why I'm Single And Don't Hate Valentines Day

As February enters into its second week, store shelves, movie theaters, and hearts prepare for the first big holiday of the year. I'm sure you all know the day I'm speaking of...
Presidents Day.

OK not really, but with Valentines and prom coming up I thought it be good to address the issue of "relationships." And I'll be honest...
I've never had a date in my life. And I'm OK with that.

Often we as teens jump into things instinctively. We come across new situations and experiences, and in this fast paced world, we don't always have time to think about the impending results. And this can sometimes lead to a lot of regret, especially in the area of relationships. Its no secret break ups can be messy and dramatic, even destructive. Its also no secret the closer you are the more painful it is. And many times we know that this is going to be a likely result. So why do we do it?

It happens because of two lies. The first is that relationships equal success.

I'll be honest, not having dated anyone makes me feel like a loser at times, as if there's something wrong with me. I look at others and think "Wow, they seem really happy and they've really got something. Why don't I have that? Is it my attitude, personality, or maybe I'm just ugly?"
The idea of a relationship just seems great, and it should. Especially if it's successful. But that doesn't mean that a relationship equals success. Being single does not make you a loser or inferior. I'll give one great example why:
I don't have a girlfriend, but then again, I don't have any ex-girlfriends.

In other words, I've never failed at relationships. I've never even been involved in one, so how can I have failed? I've never tried it. So when I do get a date someday, it will be a new experience. It's something I can look forward to. You see, if you've dated, or are dating, you're one day gonna look back on it. And you may look back on it regretfully. I don't have that. In fact, I'm actually proud that I never dated through high school. Because now I can look at relationships from an adult perspective. I can see how it will affect my life. Because with college and a career well on the way, I'm already thinking about my future and what I am going to do for the rest of my life, so its easier to see if a certain "special someone" can fit into that. And if I can fit into theirs. I guess you could say that because, for the most part, I know what I'm going to do with my life, I can start to legitimately find out who I want to spend it with.

And there is also a second lie: That a relationship with said person will make one happy forever.

I'll say it now: Happiness is momentary. Eventually the emotions and the fun wear off and most people don't put in the work to make their relationship stand afterwards. Why else do you think the divorce rate is so high? And to be honest, if your only reason for being in a relationship is to be happy, you never will be. Because a relationship is like anything else: even after its built, it still has to be cared for. Damage has to be repaired. It needs to expand. Undergo renovations. and that takes time and effort. Because a relationships is less about you and more about that other person. Its a friendship but with a little something extra. A slightly different dynamic. And if you can't put the other person in front of you, if that's not your priority, than why bother? If you aren't ready for that, do something else! There are a million and one other things you could do to be happy! In fact, you might be even happier! Life has so much to offer.

So to those who will spend Friday with another, I say, enjoy it. And to those who will spend it alone, I say enjoy it more.

-JD

PS: A great video by some really cool Youtubers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3niK31Hf7Uk

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Just Five More Minutes...

"Just five more minutes..." 
As a teenager, I find myself saying this or something similar while on social media. You get on just to check your messages and end up staying on for hours, time you could spend actually hanging out with friends, doing homework, or even chores your parents told you to do before you got on. 

Can't seem to kick twitter to the curb? Here are some things that help me.




Do what you need to before you get on.
If you have a lot of homework or maybe just need to feed your dog, do it first. Chances are you'll get wrapped up in something and forget about it until you have barely enough time to get everything done. Putting the more important things first pays off in the long run because you will (or should) end up spending more time on it, raising your grades, having a happier pet, and above all, happier parents. This all still takes determination. Since looking at your science book longer won't necessarily give you better grades, you have to work at it.

 Set a time limit.
It's just what it sounds like. Set a time you need to get off or ask someone to set a time for you. The benefit of having someone else set one is when the time comes, they can kick you off.

 Get off when you need to, not in five minutes.
Most of the times that I find myself saying this, I have said it four times already. When I get off, I'm disgusted by the time I wasted. So when you catch yourself saying this, (that is, if you do) put the phone or laptop down and get to work/sleep/life. 

 Don't get on.
Seems easy enough, right? Wrong. If you have a lot of stuff to do, but a laundry list of social medias is calling your name, don't log on. To silence the social medias, you could give your electronics to your parents (turning them off doesn't seem to work for me when all you have to do is turn them back on), go to the library and study, or there are websites that you can use to block you off of social media for a while.

 I hope you find one or more of these helped you. Chances are you already know of these methods but being reminded of them can help too. Let me know of any other methods you use, or if this helped you!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Teens Making a Difference

Part of our problem as teens is that we are caught up in ourselves. Having a few troubles: friends, 
parents, money, bullies, peer pressure?

I have found it helpful to focus on other people’s troubles instead of my own when I feel like things are getting tough. As teens, we can make a difference by volunteering and serving others. 
The possibilities are endless. A teen named Katie Stagliano is a fine example of a teen focusing on others. She has developed a program called Katie's Krops which provides grants to help teens up to age sixteen start vegetable gardens across the United States to help fight hunger. Find your own way to focus on others and get your friends to join you in this effort.

According to Youth Helping America, on average, teens volunteer about 29 hours a year. By volunteering, we can take the focus off of ourselves, learn new skills, and bring joy to others. As teens we can make a difference! So next time you’re having some struggles of your own, notice the needs of others and you’ll soon find yourself feeling better. 

~Jag

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Another Twist on Respect

http://www.gocomics.com/luann/2013/09/19#.Uu0fSwstI3g.blogger


With TV and media showing you all sorts of different things, it is sometimes hard to decide where to draw lines, especially in the area of clothing. Here are a few simple things to keep in mind when you open your closet.
1)                  Modesty is respecting yourself and the people around you through your fashion choices. When we exercise modesty, we help other people feel comfortable. Have you ever been in a situation when you were seeing a little too much of something? I have. For the whole conversation I felt embarrassed for myself and the person I was supposed to be talking to. Unfortunately I was so distracted I don’t remember much of what was said. Some people who dress inappropriately you are using their bodies to get attention or to fit in. Is this the kind of attention we really want?
2)                  If you don't feel comfortable wearing something, don't. Once I wore a shirt that I thought was too low. I spent all day trying to pull it up and didn't enjoy myself at all. Wear stuff you’re comfortable with.
3)                  What if it seems everyone else it wearing styles you think lack modesty? That's a tricky one. If I feel like I am the only one dressing modestly, I try to get some perspective. Is everyone really wearing something inappropriate? You might be surprised how many unobtrusive people are dressed modestly. We tend to notice the inappropriate things because they stick out. If you break the trend you might start a whole new fashion. Finally, I've noticed that my good friends don't mind if what I wear isn't “vogue.” If your friends need you to wear certain things to be your friends, you might need to consider what your friendship is based upon. Here is another idea, try getting to know some of the less dominant people without others influence. Invite someone you don't know too well over to your house and get to know their character, not their clothing. You might be surprised at what you discover.
4)                  Dress for the occasion. Certain occasions (such as a wedding) require more than jeans and a t-shirt, even if they are completely modest. When choosing what you’re going to wear think of what you will be doing. Will you be standing a lot? If so, uncomfortable shoes might not work. If you’re sitting on a stage do you really want the audience looking up your skirt? Covering those knocking knees might put everyone more at ease.
            You may have noticed that I didn't give you any solid rules for clothing such as no skinny jeans or skirts to your knees. The crazy thing about fashion is that the “rules” vary from culture to culture. There are many guidelines that are helpful, but I think that if you understand why you dress the way you do and how it affects you and others, you will make wise choices on what to wear.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

It's Never Enough

What is the one thing that all of us, if we were honest, want more of?

Dough. Bank. Green. Bread. Cash.

Money.


Everyone wants more money. From the richest of the rich to the poorest of the poor, no matter your age, race, gender, or religion, you want more money. Even your parents want you to have more money. Because money makes things happen. The only problem is...

You have to earn it. And that means taking a job.

And that's a great thing. My job is one of the greatest aspects of my life. Sure it can be a drag, but hey, I'm making bank!

Except... I'm not. Because quite frankly, money breeds more problems than it fixes.

An example: I make roughly 450 bucks a month, and I work about 15-20 hours a week. When I first got my job, I was ecstatic because I was loaded! I ate out all the time. I was ready to go for a night out with the crew. I was ready to take a young lady out to dinner.  Except I didn't have a car at the time, so I could do whatever I wanted...

As long as my Mom could get me there.

So, I got my license and my Dad lent me an old car.

Now, I spend all my money filling up for gas, so I can run errands for my Mom, drive my sister to work, and occasionally I get to go to the movies with the crew.. Also, I am now trying to save money so I can get a better car, so I can save on gas so I can keep more of my money.

Did I lose you there?

My overall point is simple: Money isn't always the answer. Money isn't happiness. In fact, money is really just a means to an end. The solution to troubles is to find the best end. And work for it.

You want to buy clothes? You want to have a car? You want to take that girl out?

Work for it. Yeah, a job is hard to come by and can be frustrating. But you will learn something about life. And lots of other things. So hang tight.

Meanwhile I will just be paying back my Mom the $130 bucks I owe her for my new car battery.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Studying, Notice “Dying” at the End!


One of the most common struggles any teen will have in school is studying. Lots of teens, including me, struggle with it. Throughout the first term of the school year, I have struggled in a few subjects such as English, history, and science. After a while I got really tired of the grades I was getting. I talked to my parents about it, (Yeah, I was THAT desperate!) They came up with a solution: compose a schedule of my week and write in all of my classes for it. Then they said to set aside one hour for each subject that I struggled in, and study the text book. So I read it one paragraph at a time, and summarized what each paragraph said in one sentence. Then I read it through one more time normally. 

After a week, I noticed a significant difference in my grades. In my classes I realized that I understood more of what the teacher was talking about. It took away a bit of my free time, but it was well worth it to see my grades change dramatically.

If you try it, please tell me how it went. Or maybe you could leave other suggestions for the other people reading.

Thanks,


Randy L. Martin

Parents: The Never Ending Battle... Or Is It?

Lets face it - parents can be a drag.

I mean yeah you love 'em, but so often it seems like they just don't get that you're not twelve years old anymore. You've changed since then. You've grown up. In fact, some of you may even look more "grown up" than your parents. Maybe one of your parents was never really there for you. Or maybe you have awesome parents, but you still feel like an isolated little kid. But no matter what the case, one thing is clearly true-

Whether you like it or not, your parents are basically in charge of you. And sometimes that sucks.

Yes, they do pay for everything, and they have taken care of you for your entire life, but do they have to run your life as well? Do they have to always be looking over your shoulder, making sure you don't screw up? Everybody makes mistakes sometimes, but why is it they only freak out when you make the mistake? You don't yell at them when they screw their lives up. But time after time, they go to ridiculous measures to make sure you're still breathing. And we all ask the same question: WHY?




The Answer: BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS LOVE YOU.

Yeah. That's why.

I didn't get this til I was 17. I was soon to be getting my driver's licence, and out of nowhere I get a call from my Dad. Some kid who worked for him on the farm, about 16, was hit and killed by a drunk driver. I had met him a couple of times, and worked with him. I was a little shaken up. Next time I saw my Dad, he hugged me, and even cried. Now, my Dad almost never cries. The man has way too much pride for that. In fact, it always seems like my Dad tries to avoid the actual "parenting" part of parenting (my parents are divorced, you see). But hearing about a kid my age getting killed shook even him to the core. Because they don't want that to be us. They've lived a lot more life than us. They've seen kids our age drink, overdose, commit suicide, get pregnant, go through break ups, fail midterms, have mental breakdowns, got to prison, never graduate, get depression, lose friendships, have their dreams crushed before their eyes, and even go off to war and die for their country. And, quite selfishly, they don't want to have to watch your casket be placed in a hole and be covered with dirt.

So really all I can say is this- love and respect your parents. No, they are not always right, and yes, they do make many mistakes. But that last thing you want to do is ruin the longest relationship you've had with another human being over something stupid. Because it's a lot harder to build that back up. In fact, you may never build it back up.

And if the relationship is already bad, don't do anything to make it worse. Your parents are who they are whether or not that's good or bad. You can't change them, but you don't have to make the same mistakes. 

So muscle through, no matter what. The best of life comes after you graduate anyways.
-JD