Showing posts with label teen issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teen issues. Show all posts

Friday, March 14, 2014

I'll Get It Done... Eventually.

Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
I think we've all been there at some point. There's something to be done, but we don't want to do it. Or at least, not right now. So we don't do it, telling ourselves we'll "get it done later."
I've procrastinated a lot in the past. In every area from school and homework, to chores around the house. Here's what I've learned about procrastination.


Putting off work for later only delays the inevitable, plus some more.
Being lazy may seem beneficial at the time, but in the end we do the same amount of work we'd have to do before; but when we delay it, there are some huge side effects.
- Cutting it close to, or missing deadlines,
- Stressing over having to cram everything in a few hours,
- Poor results from a lack of time spent on it,
- When there are no deadlines, work just keeps building up until it's seemingly impossible to solve.
And don't forget the constant guilt accompanied with not getting things done.
But what can we do to prevent this chain of laziness?


Here are just a few tips to help stop procrastination.

1) Create a to-do list.
It actually helps. Write down the things you know that you need to do, and check them off as you complete them. It can be as simple or complex as you want it to be. 
To-do lists help you keep on track, while encouraging you by showing the things you've accomplished so far. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

2) Remove distractions.
Do you have a habit of texting instead of working? What about playing Xbox? Watching Netflix?
I find that physically removing those items from your view and make them not available to use often helped me focus and prevented me from using them before work was done. Nobody knows yourself better than you do. Find out what causes you to get distracted, and either remove it from you, or remove you from it.

3) Dedicate time.
One of the main causes of my procrastination, was me allowing myself to do other things. 
Another great way to avoid procrastination is dedicate some time (say, an hour) to doing only the intended task, no matter how boring it is. And whenever you see something distracting, pay no attention to it at all.

4) Don't wait for perfection, just do it.
Don't wait for the perfect moment; it'll never come, and we'll never get the work done.
Sometimes I convinced myself that there was some "opportune time" to get this work done, and whenever it wasn't that time, I shouldn't work on it.
The best way to stop this? Don't wait. Do it immediately. Do you have stuff that should be completed? Stop what you're doing, and go finish it!


Stopping procrastination will actually save you time.
Sometimes, work is objectively unavoidable. You're going to have to spend at least one hour working on something, so you may as well get it out of the way, before it becomes one and a half hours, and then two hours.
In the end, how much time would you want to spend doing the exact same task: one hour, or two? The answer is simple. Get it done, and get it out of the way. You can actually save yourself time by getting it done now. And then that hour you would've spent working, can now be spent doing whatever you want to, with a mind clear of guilt. The decision is yours.

Thomas Edision once said "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." 

Do you have something that needs to be done? What're you waiting for? Go and get it done. There's nothing stopping you besides yourself.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Why I'm Single And Don't Hate Valentines Day

As February enters into its second week, store shelves, movie theaters, and hearts prepare for the first big holiday of the year. I'm sure you all know the day I'm speaking of...
Presidents Day.

OK not really, but with Valentines and prom coming up I thought it be good to address the issue of "relationships." And I'll be honest...
I've never had a date in my life. And I'm OK with that.

Often we as teens jump into things instinctively. We come across new situations and experiences, and in this fast paced world, we don't always have time to think about the impending results. And this can sometimes lead to a lot of regret, especially in the area of relationships. Its no secret break ups can be messy and dramatic, even destructive. Its also no secret the closer you are the more painful it is. And many times we know that this is going to be a likely result. So why do we do it?

It happens because of two lies. The first is that relationships equal success.

I'll be honest, not having dated anyone makes me feel like a loser at times, as if there's something wrong with me. I look at others and think "Wow, they seem really happy and they've really got something. Why don't I have that? Is it my attitude, personality, or maybe I'm just ugly?"
The idea of a relationship just seems great, and it should. Especially if it's successful. But that doesn't mean that a relationship equals success. Being single does not make you a loser or inferior. I'll give one great example why:
I don't have a girlfriend, but then again, I don't have any ex-girlfriends.

In other words, I've never failed at relationships. I've never even been involved in one, so how can I have failed? I've never tried it. So when I do get a date someday, it will be a new experience. It's something I can look forward to. You see, if you've dated, or are dating, you're one day gonna look back on it. And you may look back on it regretfully. I don't have that. In fact, I'm actually proud that I never dated through high school. Because now I can look at relationships from an adult perspective. I can see how it will affect my life. Because with college and a career well on the way, I'm already thinking about my future and what I am going to do for the rest of my life, so its easier to see if a certain "special someone" can fit into that. And if I can fit into theirs. I guess you could say that because, for the most part, I know what I'm going to do with my life, I can start to legitimately find out who I want to spend it with.

And there is also a second lie: That a relationship with said person will make one happy forever.

I'll say it now: Happiness is momentary. Eventually the emotions and the fun wear off and most people don't put in the work to make their relationship stand afterwards. Why else do you think the divorce rate is so high? And to be honest, if your only reason for being in a relationship is to be happy, you never will be. Because a relationship is like anything else: even after its built, it still has to be cared for. Damage has to be repaired. It needs to expand. Undergo renovations. and that takes time and effort. Because a relationships is less about you and more about that other person. Its a friendship but with a little something extra. A slightly different dynamic. And if you can't put the other person in front of you, if that's not your priority, than why bother? If you aren't ready for that, do something else! There are a million and one other things you could do to be happy! In fact, you might be even happier! Life has so much to offer.

So to those who will spend Friday with another, I say, enjoy it. And to those who will spend it alone, I say enjoy it more.

-JD

PS: A great video by some really cool Youtubers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3niK31Hf7Uk

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Just Five More Minutes...

"Just five more minutes..." 
As a teenager, I find myself saying this or something similar while on social media. You get on just to check your messages and end up staying on for hours, time you could spend actually hanging out with friends, doing homework, or even chores your parents told you to do before you got on. 

Can't seem to kick twitter to the curb? Here are some things that help me.




Do what you need to before you get on.
If you have a lot of homework or maybe just need to feed your dog, do it first. Chances are you'll get wrapped up in something and forget about it until you have barely enough time to get everything done. Putting the more important things first pays off in the long run because you will (or should) end up spending more time on it, raising your grades, having a happier pet, and above all, happier parents. This all still takes determination. Since looking at your science book longer won't necessarily give you better grades, you have to work at it.

 Set a time limit.
It's just what it sounds like. Set a time you need to get off or ask someone to set a time for you. The benefit of having someone else set one is when the time comes, they can kick you off.

 Get off when you need to, not in five minutes.
Most of the times that I find myself saying this, I have said it four times already. When I get off, I'm disgusted by the time I wasted. So when you catch yourself saying this, (that is, if you do) put the phone or laptop down and get to work/sleep/life. 

 Don't get on.
Seems easy enough, right? Wrong. If you have a lot of stuff to do, but a laundry list of social medias is calling your name, don't log on. To silence the social medias, you could give your electronics to your parents (turning them off doesn't seem to work for me when all you have to do is turn them back on), go to the library and study, or there are websites that you can use to block you off of social media for a while.

 I hope you find one or more of these helped you. Chances are you already know of these methods but being reminded of them can help too. Let me know of any other methods you use, or if this helped you!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Teens Making a Difference

Part of our problem as teens is that we are caught up in ourselves. Having a few troubles: friends, 
parents, money, bullies, peer pressure?

I have found it helpful to focus on other people’s troubles instead of my own when I feel like things are getting tough. As teens, we can make a difference by volunteering and serving others. 
The possibilities are endless. A teen named Katie Stagliano is a fine example of a teen focusing on others. She has developed a program called Katie's Krops which provides grants to help teens up to age sixteen start vegetable gardens across the United States to help fight hunger. Find your own way to focus on others and get your friends to join you in this effort.

According to Youth Helping America, on average, teens volunteer about 29 hours a year. By volunteering, we can take the focus off of ourselves, learn new skills, and bring joy to others. As teens we can make a difference! So next time you’re having some struggles of your own, notice the needs of others and you’ll soon find yourself feeling better. 

~Jag

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Another Twist on Respect

http://www.gocomics.com/luann/2013/09/19#.Uu0fSwstI3g.blogger


With TV and media showing you all sorts of different things, it is sometimes hard to decide where to draw lines, especially in the area of clothing. Here are a few simple things to keep in mind when you open your closet.
1)                  Modesty is respecting yourself and the people around you through your fashion choices. When we exercise modesty, we help other people feel comfortable. Have you ever been in a situation when you were seeing a little too much of something? I have. For the whole conversation I felt embarrassed for myself and the person I was supposed to be talking to. Unfortunately I was so distracted I don’t remember much of what was said. Some people who dress inappropriately you are using their bodies to get attention or to fit in. Is this the kind of attention we really want?
2)                  If you don't feel comfortable wearing something, don't. Once I wore a shirt that I thought was too low. I spent all day trying to pull it up and didn't enjoy myself at all. Wear stuff you’re comfortable with.
3)                  What if it seems everyone else it wearing styles you think lack modesty? That's a tricky one. If I feel like I am the only one dressing modestly, I try to get some perspective. Is everyone really wearing something inappropriate? You might be surprised how many unobtrusive people are dressed modestly. We tend to notice the inappropriate things because they stick out. If you break the trend you might start a whole new fashion. Finally, I've noticed that my good friends don't mind if what I wear isn't “vogue.” If your friends need you to wear certain things to be your friends, you might need to consider what your friendship is based upon. Here is another idea, try getting to know some of the less dominant people without others influence. Invite someone you don't know too well over to your house and get to know their character, not their clothing. You might be surprised at what you discover.
4)                  Dress for the occasion. Certain occasions (such as a wedding) require more than jeans and a t-shirt, even if they are completely modest. When choosing what you’re going to wear think of what you will be doing. Will you be standing a lot? If so, uncomfortable shoes might not work. If you’re sitting on a stage do you really want the audience looking up your skirt? Covering those knocking knees might put everyone more at ease.
            You may have noticed that I didn't give you any solid rules for clothing such as no skinny jeans or skirts to your knees. The crazy thing about fashion is that the “rules” vary from culture to culture. There are many guidelines that are helpful, but I think that if you understand why you dress the way you do and how it affects you and others, you will make wise choices on what to wear.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

It's Never Enough

What is the one thing that all of us, if we were honest, want more of?

Dough. Bank. Green. Bread. Cash.

Money.


Everyone wants more money. From the richest of the rich to the poorest of the poor, no matter your age, race, gender, or religion, you want more money. Even your parents want you to have more money. Because money makes things happen. The only problem is...

You have to earn it. And that means taking a job.

And that's a great thing. My job is one of the greatest aspects of my life. Sure it can be a drag, but hey, I'm making bank!

Except... I'm not. Because quite frankly, money breeds more problems than it fixes.

An example: I make roughly 450 bucks a month, and I work about 15-20 hours a week. When I first got my job, I was ecstatic because I was loaded! I ate out all the time. I was ready to go for a night out with the crew. I was ready to take a young lady out to dinner.  Except I didn't have a car at the time, so I could do whatever I wanted...

As long as my Mom could get me there.

So, I got my license and my Dad lent me an old car.

Now, I spend all my money filling up for gas, so I can run errands for my Mom, drive my sister to work, and occasionally I get to go to the movies with the crew.. Also, I am now trying to save money so I can get a better car, so I can save on gas so I can keep more of my money.

Did I lose you there?

My overall point is simple: Money isn't always the answer. Money isn't happiness. In fact, money is really just a means to an end. The solution to troubles is to find the best end. And work for it.

You want to buy clothes? You want to have a car? You want to take that girl out?

Work for it. Yeah, a job is hard to come by and can be frustrating. But you will learn something about life. And lots of other things. So hang tight.

Meanwhile I will just be paying back my Mom the $130 bucks I owe her for my new car battery.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Studying, Notice “Dying” at the End!


One of the most common struggles any teen will have in school is studying. Lots of teens, including me, struggle with it. Throughout the first term of the school year, I have struggled in a few subjects such as English, history, and science. After a while I got really tired of the grades I was getting. I talked to my parents about it, (Yeah, I was THAT desperate!) They came up with a solution: compose a schedule of my week and write in all of my classes for it. Then they said to set aside one hour for each subject that I struggled in, and study the text book. So I read it one paragraph at a time, and summarized what each paragraph said in one sentence. Then I read it through one more time normally. 

After a week, I noticed a significant difference in my grades. In my classes I realized that I understood more of what the teacher was talking about. It took away a bit of my free time, but it was well worth it to see my grades change dramatically.

If you try it, please tell me how it went. Or maybe you could leave other suggestions for the other people reading.

Thanks,


Randy L. Martin

Parents: The Never Ending Battle... Or Is It?

Lets face it - parents can be a drag.

I mean yeah you love 'em, but so often it seems like they just don't get that you're not twelve years old anymore. You've changed since then. You've grown up. In fact, some of you may even look more "grown up" than your parents. Maybe one of your parents was never really there for you. Or maybe you have awesome parents, but you still feel like an isolated little kid. But no matter what the case, one thing is clearly true-

Whether you like it or not, your parents are basically in charge of you. And sometimes that sucks.

Yes, they do pay for everything, and they have taken care of you for your entire life, but do they have to run your life as well? Do they have to always be looking over your shoulder, making sure you don't screw up? Everybody makes mistakes sometimes, but why is it they only freak out when you make the mistake? You don't yell at them when they screw their lives up. But time after time, they go to ridiculous measures to make sure you're still breathing. And we all ask the same question: WHY?




The Answer: BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS LOVE YOU.

Yeah. That's why.

I didn't get this til I was 17. I was soon to be getting my driver's licence, and out of nowhere I get a call from my Dad. Some kid who worked for him on the farm, about 16, was hit and killed by a drunk driver. I had met him a couple of times, and worked with him. I was a little shaken up. Next time I saw my Dad, he hugged me, and even cried. Now, my Dad almost never cries. The man has way too much pride for that. In fact, it always seems like my Dad tries to avoid the actual "parenting" part of parenting (my parents are divorced, you see). But hearing about a kid my age getting killed shook even him to the core. Because they don't want that to be us. They've lived a lot more life than us. They've seen kids our age drink, overdose, commit suicide, get pregnant, go through break ups, fail midterms, have mental breakdowns, got to prison, never graduate, get depression, lose friendships, have their dreams crushed before their eyes, and even go off to war and die for their country. And, quite selfishly, they don't want to have to watch your casket be placed in a hole and be covered with dirt.

So really all I can say is this- love and respect your parents. No, they are not always right, and yes, they do make many mistakes. But that last thing you want to do is ruin the longest relationship you've had with another human being over something stupid. Because it's a lot harder to build that back up. In fact, you may never build it back up.

And if the relationship is already bad, don't do anything to make it worse. Your parents are who they are whether or not that's good or bad. You can't change them, but you don't have to make the same mistakes. 

So muscle through, no matter what. The best of life comes after you graduate anyways.
-JD