Why I'm Single And Don't Hate Valentines Day

As February enters into its second week, store shelves, movie theaters, and hearts prepare for the first big holiday of the year. I'm sure you all know the day I'm speaking of...

Presidents Day.

OK not really, but with Valentines and prom coming up I thought it be good to address the issue of "relationships." And I'll be honest...

I've never had a date in my life. And I'm OK with that.

Often we as teens jump into things instinctively. We come across new situations and experiences, and in this fast paced world, we don't always have time to think about the impending results. And this can sometimes lead to a lot of regret, especially in the area of relationships. Its no secret break ups can be messy and dramatic, even destructive. Its also no secret the closer you are the more painful it is. And many times we know that this is going to be a likely result. So why do we do it?

It happens because of two lies. The first is that relationships equal success.

I'll be honest, not having dated anyone makes me feel like a loser at times, as if there's something wrong with me. I look at others and think "Wow, they seem really happy and they've really got something. Why don't I have that? Is it my attitude, personality, or maybe I'm just ugly?"
The idea of a relationship just seems great, and it should. Especially if it's successful. But that doesn't mean that a relationship equals success. Being single does not make you a loser or inferior. I'll give one great example why:
I don't have a girlfriend, but then again, I don't have any ex-girlfriends.

In other words, I've never failed at relationships. I've never even been involved in one, so how can I have failed? I've never tried it. So when I do get a date someday, it will be a new experience. It's something I can look forward to. You see, if you've dated, or are dating, you're one day gonna look back on it. And you may look back on it regretfully. I don't have that. In fact, I'm actually proud that I never dated through high school. Because now I can look at relationships from an adult perspective. I can see how it will affect my life. Because with college and a career well on the way, I'm already thinking about my future and what I am going to do for the rest of my life, so its easier to see if a certain "special someone" can fit into that. And if I can fit into theirs. I guess you could say that because, for the most part, I know what I'm going to do with my life, I can start to legitimately find out who I want to spend it with.

And there is also a second lie: That a relationship with said person will make one happy forever.

I'll say it now: Happiness is momentary. Eventually the emotions and the fun wear off and most people don't put in the work to make their relationship stand afterwards. Why else do you think the divorce rate is so high? And to be honest, if your only reason for being in a relationship is to be happy, you never will be. Because a relationship is like anything else: even after its built, it still has to be cared for. Damage has to be repaired. It needs to expand. Undergo renovations. and that takes time and effort. Because a relationships is less about you and more about that other person. Its a friendship but with a little something extra. A slightly different dynamic. And if you can't put the other person in front of you, if that's not your priority, than why bother? If you aren't ready for that, do something else! There are a million and one other things you could do to be happy! In fact, you might be even happier! Life has so much to offer.

So to those who will spend Friday with another, I say, enjoy it. And to those who will spend it alone, I say enjoy it more.

-JD

PS: A great video by some really cool Youtubers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3niK31Hf7Uk