Why I'm Single And Don't Hate Valentines Day

As February enters into its second week, store shelves, movie theaters, and hearts prepare for the first big holiday of the year. I'm sure you all know the day I'm speaking of...

Presidents Day.

OK not really, but with Valentines and prom coming up I thought it be good to address the issue of "relationships." And I'll be honest...

I've never had a date in my life. And I'm OK with that.

Often we as teens jump into things instinctively. We come across new situations and experiences, and in this fast paced world, we don't always have time to think about the impending results. And this can sometimes lead to a lot of regret, especially in the area of relationships. Its no secret break ups can be messy and dramatic, even destructive. Its also no secret the closer you are the more painful it is. And many times we know that this is going to be a likely result. So why do we do it?

It happens because of two lies. The first is that relationships equal success.

I'll be honest, not having dated anyone makes me feel like a loser at times, as if there's something wrong with me. I look at others and think "Wow, they seem really happy and they've really got something. Why don't I have that? Is it my attitude, personality, or maybe I'm just ugly?"
The idea of a relationship just seems great, and it should. Especially if it's successful. But that doesn't mean that a relationship equals success. Being single does not make you a loser or inferior. I'll give one great example why:
I don't have a girlfriend, but then again, I don't have any ex-girlfriends.

In other words, I've never failed at relationships. I've never even been involved in one, so how can I have failed? I've never tried it. So when I do get a date someday, it will be a new experience. It's something I can look forward to. You see, if you've dated, or are dating, you're one day gonna look back on it. And you may look back on it regretfully. I don't have that. In fact, I'm actually proud that I never dated through high school. Because now I can look at relationships from an adult perspective. I can see how it will affect my life. Because with college and a career well on the way, I'm already thinking about my future and what I am going to do for the rest of my life, so its easier to see if a certain "special someone" can fit into that. And if I can fit into theirs. I guess you could say that because, for the most part, I know what I'm going to do with my life, I can start to legitimately find out who I want to spend it with.

And there is also a second lie: That a relationship with said person will make one happy forever.

I'll say it now: Happiness is momentary. Eventually the emotions and the fun wear off and most people don't put in the work to make their relationship stand afterwards. Why else do you think the divorce rate is so high? And to be honest, if your only reason for being in a relationship is to be happy, you never will be. Because a relationship is like anything else: even after its built, it still has to be cared for. Damage has to be repaired. It needs to expand. Undergo renovations. and that takes time and effort. Because a relationships is less about you and more about that other person. Its a friendship but with a little something extra. A slightly different dynamic. And if you can't put the other person in front of you, if that's not your priority, than why bother? If you aren't ready for that, do something else! There are a million and one other things you could do to be happy! In fact, you might be even happier! Life has so much to offer.

So to those who will spend Friday with another, I say, enjoy it. And to those who will spend it alone, I say enjoy it more.

-JD

PS: A great video by some really cool Youtubers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3niK31Hf7Uk

Just Five More Minutes...

"Just five more minutes..." 
As a teenager, I find myself saying this or something similar while on social media. You get on just to check your messages and end up staying on for hours, time you could spend actually hanging out with friends, doing homework, or even chores your parents told you to do before you got on. 

Can't seem to kick twitter to the curb? Here are some things that help me.

Do what you need to before you get on.

If you have a lot of homework or maybe just need to feed your dog, do it first. Chances are you'll get wrapped up in something and forget about it until you have barely enough time to get everything done. Putting the more important things first pays off in the long run because you will (or should) end up spending more time on it, raising your grades, having a happier pet, and above all, happier parents. This all still takes determination. Since looking at your science book longer won't necessarily give you better grades, you have to work at it.

 Set a time limit.

It's just what it sounds like. Set a time you need to get off or ask someone to set a time for you. The benefit of having someone else set one is when the time comes, they can kick you off.

 Get off when you need to, not in five minutes.

Most of the times that I find myself saying this, I have said it four times already. When I get off, I'm disgusted by the time I wasted. So when you catch yourself saying this, (that is, if you do) put the phone or laptop down and get to work/sleep/life. 

 Don't get on.

Seems easy enough, right? Wrong. If you have a lot of stuff to do, but a laundry list of social medias is calling your name, don't log on. To silence the social medias, you could give your electronics to your parents (turning them off doesn't seem to work for me when all you have to do is turn them back on), go to the library and study, or there are websites that you can use to block you off of social media for a while.

 I hope you find one or more of these helped you. Chances are you already know of these methods but being reminded of them can help too. Let me know of any other methods you use, or if this helped you!